The End of This Year and the Beginning of the Next

Well, 2015 is looming large and I am excited to know that I will be done with school this year and back on track with my SMC goals. I hope this coming year is a good one.

This past year I challenged myself to blog once per week, and in December I challenged myself to blog once per day. Now both challenges are over and done. There was only one week this year, in July, when I wasn't able to at least throw something up on the blog and that was due to my internet being out. Then in December I was late posting for one day because I worked late, joined a friend for a late dinner, and didn't get home until after midnight so I had to make up for it by posting twice the next day.

I have mixed feelings about the challenges. On one hand I'm glad I stuck it out and I'm proud of myself for having done so. On the other hand there were times it felt more like a chore and like I could have done better in regards to content.
But as I say goodbye to 2014 I thought I'd update on a few of the things I blogged about over the year.

• Scarf project - I'm still working on it but it's currently less than two feet long so progress has been fairly slow.
• Costume pictures - There are still no good pictures of me in the costume. Trying to coordinate my sister's schedule, my schedule, and the weather has proven difficult.
• My guy friend (PBJ) - We're still friends and things are still complicated.
• My summertime cough - I tested negative for whooping cough, yet I read somewhere that the cough associated with whooping cough can last for 12 weeks. Mine lasted from the third week in June to the middle of September - just about 12 weeks. My friend (PBJ) also had the same horrible cough, his also lasted about 12 weeks. I wonder if it was a false negative for whooping cough? If not I wonder what the hell we had.
• School - In for penny, in for a pound, right? I signed up for six classes next semester. I anticipate not having a lot of free time, but maybe this way I can end in the summer instead of next December - fingers crossed.
• Graduation Celebration Vacation - I still really want to do this but I'm still undecided about where to go, how much I can afford, and whether I really am brave enough to go it alone.

Finally I want to say a big, heartfelt THANK YOU!!! to all those who commented on my blog throughout this year. It really meant a lot to me and I wish I had had more time to personally answer each one.

Blog Challenge Day 30: One Thing You're Excited For

I'm excited for New Year's Eve game night. Every year we pass the time until midnight with board games and card games, and it's a great end to the holiday season. I wish we could have a game night once a week, or even once a month, but we all get so busy that game night only happens about a handful of times per year. But on New Year's Eve it's become a tradition. So, I look forward to the snacks and the desserts, the winning and the losing, the laughter and the fun times, as well as a brand new year.

Blog Challenge Day 29: Five Weird Things That You Like

1. When the clock reads 12:34.

2. When I'm driving really late at night and very few people are on the road because then I feel like some kind of apocalypse survivor (preferably the zombie apocalypse) and I can pretend I'm on a supply run in a (mostly) abandoned town.

3. The smell of my deodorant. I mean everyone should like the smell of whichever one they choose but I would be so sad if they discontinued this scent.

4. When the air is so cold that breathing in sort of freezes the inside of your nose. It's a weird feeling that I like for about one breath, then I'm quick to burrow into my scarf and breathe through that as much as possible.

5. Mayonnaise. Not because it's weird to like mayonnaise, but because I could eat it out of the jar, and that's probably weird.

Blog Challenge Day 28: Somewhere You'd Like to Move to or Visit

There are several countries in the world that I would love to visit; maybe I'd even consider moving to a few of them, but of all the countries I've never been to there is one which holds a special fascination for me. That country is Sweden.

Some of my ancestors came on the boat directly from there and I still have a few distant relatives that reside there to this day. Many of our family traditions, especially around the holidays, center on old Swedish traditions and I think it is for that reason that I feel more kinship with Sweden than I feel with any of the other countries my ancestors hail from.

So, while I don't know if I would ever move there (I barely speak a word or two of Swedish!), I would love to visit someday.

Blog Challenge Day 27: A Qoute You Try to Live By

As a perfectionist I tend to put things off worrying that it won't be perfect whenever I do get around to starting. I do this both for boring things like homework projects and for fun things like taking up drawing again. I just get so worried about things going wrong, or not feeling truly ready to start that I have to remind myself it's okay to not be perfect or not be completely ready. I just need to start from wherever I am and go from there, otherwise I'll never get to do the things I need and want to do.

Blog Challenge Day 26: Things You Like and Dislike About Yourself

I like that I am a good listener. I dislike that I am so sensitive.

I like that I am open-minded. I dislike that my brain freezes up in certain social situations.

I like that I enjoy a variety of interests. I dislike having low self-esteem.

I like that I try to be kind. I dislike being too shy to give genuine compliments.


I know this is a short list but I'm going to stop there because I'm thinking up a bunch of "dislikes" and no "likes" to go with them.

Blog Challenge Day 25: Something You're Currently Worrying About

I worry that it might already be too late. I worry that my fertile peak has come and gone and that my fertility could be declining. I worry about this, not just because of my age, which, while not ideal, is still a relatively fertile age for most women, but because my sister has endometriosis and I know that having a close relative with it can increase a person's chances of having it. I also know that not everyone has the pain that accompanies endo but they can still have the condition. Beyond that I know exploratory surgery is the only definitive way of diagnosing it. I worry because I have some of the symptoms of endo.

Then there is my second fertility worry - PCOS. I have already had my testosterone levels tested once and they were just above the normal range for a woman, which makes sense because I have some symptoms of that. PCOS, like endo, is another condition that seems to manifest differently in each person, as well as being difficult to definitively diagnose. I have had a pelvic ultrasound which showed no tell-tale "string of pearls" but then I've heard that not having that doesn't always mean no PCOS.

Finally, there is a family history of fibroids, which I believe raises my risk of getting them, though none showed up on my ultrasound. What did show up, though was a teeny tiny polyp.

I have consulted Dr. Google (as well as real doctors) on all these conditions and I am amazed how similar the symptoms are for each of them. And I have at least a couple symptoms or risk factors for them all.

So this is why I worry and wonder if it may already be too late. And what will having to wait longer do to me? I still need to finish school, get a good-paying job, and establish myself in my own home/apartment. All this waiting and worrying is driving me crazy.

And after all that - Merry Christmas!

Blog Challenge Day 24: Five Words/Phrases That Make You Laugh

1. "The only thing standing between me and total happiness is reality." - Douglas Porter

2. "If at first you don't succeed...so much for skydiving." - Henny Youngman

3. "I put the pro in procrastination." - Unknown

4. "Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience." - Greg King

5.

Blog Challenge Day 23: Something That You Miss

I miss my cat, Gypsy.

I miss our after-work routine where I would sit down on my bed to take off my shoes and she would walk back and forth across my lap. Then sometimes, when I had time, I would grab my book and lay down to read a few chapters and she would lay on my chest and purr and knead her paws and I would pet her while reading.
It was always a highlight of my day to see her when I came home.

Sleeping on my chest in the unfinished basement many years ago.

Blog Challenge Day 22: Your Academics

Final grades have been posted for this last semester and it looks like I got all A's again. It was a lot harder this time around as the last month of the semester felt like solid homework and I was ready to be done at the beginning of November. Not a good combination.

Now I have to decide if I am going to add two more classes onto next semester for a total of six. I don't really want to, but I also don't want to come back for Fall semester next year. I guess my decision will come down to which option is the lesser of two evils.

Either that or I could quit completely, try to find a couple odd jobs that pay the bills and work on starting my business. That could be either the smartest or the dumbest move of all. But whichever way I choose I will have to decide quickly because tuition for next semester is due sooner than I'd like.

Blog Challenge Day 21: Future

Full title: "How you hope your future will be"

I hope someday I can proudly say I love my life.

I hope my future will be full of smiles, happiness, and laughter.

I hope there will be good memories to look back on and more good things to look forward to.

I hope I can find my patience again and I hope I can learn to relax and live in the moment more.

I hope I will feel settled and not constantly plagued by worries and what-ifs.

I hope I will feel good about the choices I make.

I hope there will still be love to give and receive.

Blog Challenge Day 20: Your Fears

I think I've shared my fears on here before in various previous posts, the biggest of which would be ending up childless and alone. But rather than rehash some of the deep fears that I have already shared I thought maybe I'd talk about a slightly more superficial one - my fear of spiders and anything with more than six legs.

I hate them. They move so quickly on those long thin legs and they always seem like they are plotting to get me. It doesn't even matter that most of them aren't deadly to humans, there is just something so creepy in the way they look and move. In fact, I think there is only one deadly spider native to where I live, the Black Widow, and despite living here my whole life I'm not sure that I've ever officially seen one. And I hope I never do.

Anyway, just thinking of spiders brings to mind one time when I nearly ran into a Cookie spider. I was in high school and horse-crazy so I cleaned stalls at a barn after school in exchange for riding lessons. The fresh bedding for the stalls was kept on the other side of the arena so I had my cart and I was heading to get some. I started off across the arena not really paying much attention when my eyes focused at the very last second to see a large Cookie spider hanging down right in front of me, right at face level. Had I not looked up at that moment I would have literally run face first into the big ugly thing. Fortunately I was able to move aside and avoid hitting it. Even now, over a decade later, the memory still makes me shudder and gives me that creepy-crawly feeling.

And then there are centipedes and their ilk who just have way too many legs and also move at lightning speed. Disgusting.

Blog Challenge Day 19: Five Items You Lust After

1. A stylish leather jacket.

2. A kick-ass pool.

3. A stylish pair of boots.

4. These keychains (and a boyfriend to go with them).

5. And these leggings, for some reason.

Blog Challenge Day 18: A Problem That You Have Had

Lately my biggest problem has been getting to bed at a decent hour. My work schedule right now has me coming home in time to eat a late dinner and get ready for bed so I can wake up in the morning and do it all over again. But because it is a busy and stressful season at work I find that I need time to decompress after coming home and this is where I begin to run into problems.

I spend so much time decompressing that I start to get tired and find myself falling asleep while on the computer, watching TV, or reading a book. I also tend to delay getting ready for bed because I know it will take me an hour or longer due to taking my shower at night. Logic says that delaying getting ready for bed is what costs me the most time, but trying to convince my over-tired brain to drag my butt to the shower is practically a herculean task. So I end up taking a nap sometime around midnight just so I can wake up a few hours later, take a shower, and then go to bed.

The disrupted sleep plus the stress and scheduling of work cause the cycle to happen over and over again right now.

But, truth be told, as a night owl I tend to have this problem all year long. I can't remember the last time I got to bed before midnight and can probably count on one hand the number of times I did so in the past year. It's just that during every other season it is just me being stupid and not wanting to go to bed, despite knowing I need to. But this time of year I really do need that decompression time and have nowhere to squeeze it in without sacrificing sleep.

I'm so glad I had today off from work. Maybe I can actually get to bed early tonight and get my sleep schedule somewhat corrected.

Blog Challenge Day 17: Something That You're Proud Of

I'm not the most athletically-inclined and team sports are the worst for me. I always hated in gym class when we would play anything like softball or kickball where the one person who is up to bat is the sole focus of everyone playing. A friend and I used to line up last hoping our team would strike out before it was our turn to bat (actually got yelled at by the teacher for continually lining up last!)

Anyway, along came college and one day I found myself hanging out with old friends and new, and one of the guys suggested we play wiffle ball. Not wanting to be left out I went along.

Like most college campuses ours had a nice open grassy space perfect for playing, and as the warm spring sun began descending in the West we divided into two small teams and faced off.

With the small number of players, and the rapidly disappearing sunshine, game-play was brisk and all too soon we came to the final inning. The teams were tied, my team was at bat. I took my usual place as last in line. All of my teammates batted, each managed to fill a base. It all came down to me.

The sun was nearly down, it was getting really hard to see the ball.

First pitch - Strike!

Second pitch - Strike!

Third pitch - I hear the bat crack against the wiffle ball and watch as the ball arches in slow motion over the heads of the other team. I chuck the bat and head for first, my teammate on third heads for home. We won the game!!

For once in my life I actually helped win a team sport! I was so proud!

One of the guys on the losing team owned the equipment and he insisted I take the wiffle ball as a trophy of our victory. I think I still have it around somewhere.

For the record, I don't think I've played anything resembling baseball since then!

Blog Challenge Day 16: "What if..."

The long title for this one is "Something you always think 'what if...' about".

I always think what if I had gone to graduate school right after getting my Bachelor's. My life could be so different right now. I could have long-since had both my Master's and my PhD. Maybe I would have a fulfilling career that I loved. Maybe I would be living in my own home. Maybe I would have met "the one" in graduate school and we'd be happily married with a couple kids by now. Or maybe I would be up to my ears in debt, living with my parents, and working a crappy job.

There's just no way of knowing or predicting how things might have turned out if I had chosen differently. And while it's sad to think my life could have been a lot better, it's also good to remind myself that this path has not been without its share of good things too. Still, it's fun sometimes to imagine myself as the intrepid, globe-trotting archaeologist I could have been.

Blog Challenge Day 15: Your Zodiac / Horoscope

The title for this one is "Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality".

My zodiac sign happens to be Taurus the bull. The characteristic most often associated with Taurus is stubbornness, something which I have in spades. I can be slow to make up my mind, but once I do I am loathe to change it. Sometimes I find myself digging in my heels even when I know I will have to switch things around or do something different.
I don't really know of any other characteristics most often associated with Taurus. Everything I read about seems like characteristics that could be applied to just about any sign in the zodiac, like artistic ability or patience (not that other zodiac signs can't be stubborn too!).

Blog Challenge Day 14: What You Wore Today

Work got in the way yesterday and I never found the time to blog so today is a two-fer!

I'm a little disappointed this particular challenge fell on a Sunday. Sunday is laundry day and chores day and because of that I wear the kind of clothes that are fit to do chores in.

As I sit here and type this I have no makeup on and my hair is pulled into a messy braid. Not exactly picture-worthy. I guess I will have to describe my outfit instead.

I've got on a dark blue Scotland t-shirt with a white Celtic-style "S"on the front. I try to get a t-shirt when I visit different places and I got this one in Scotland on my last trip there. The first time I wore it at home I was taking my suitcase to the basement to put back in storage and I brushed up against an upholstered chair and somewhere on that chair was a hidden nail that caught my t-shirt and ripped a tiny little hole in it. I was so disappointed. Eventually I managed to find some thread that matched perfectly and patched up the hole. T-shirts aren't the easiest to mend holes in but it looks okay and has held up for a couple years now.

Under my t-shirt I have on a white long-sleeved shirt because it's cold.

My jeans today are about one to two sizes too big. I swear when I tried them on at the store that they were just about right. But when I got them home it was like they had grown a size. Usually my clothes magically shrink between the store and home but these went the opposite. I have lost a little weight since I bought them so I'm sure that contributes but they are too wide in the waist, too long in the leg and just generally not flattering. Anyone else have this happen where something looks great in the store and you get home and you're like "what was I thinking?!"

Over my t-shirt I'm also wearing what I call a "house sweater". Basically a plain grey zip-up hoodie that I wear around the house as an extra layer of warmth, because it's cold.

Finally, I will share a picture of my socks. My dad buys Christmas socks for us every year and I've got a pretty healthy collection of them now so I try to wear them as often as possible between Thanksgiving and Christmas. These have pictures of bells on them and the writing spells Jingle.

Blog Challenge Day 13: Body

The title for this is "Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it"

The best answer I can give for this is that I am somewhat comfortable with my body. There are some things I like about it, some things I don't, and some things I wish I could change.

I did not escape adolescence without becoming a little self-conscious about certain areas and I do still look on with a bit of jealousy toward models who have what I lack. There are certain outfits and styles of clothes that would be nice to wear but I know from experience that I would look horrible in them.

At the same time I'm learning to adopt a "screw it" attitude and rock the kind of outfits that hide most of the flaws while making me feel good.

However, it is still a constant battle when I look in the mirror to keep me from thinking bad things about myself, and I imagine it might only get worse as I get older.

Blog Challenge Day 12: Five Guys Whom You Find Attractive

This one was tough to narrow down, I could have easily made a list of 10-15 or more. These ones all happen to be popular actors - not too surprising for me. :)

So, in no particular order:

Chris Hemsworth

Tom Hiddleston

Kit Harington

Charlie Hunnam

Chris Pine

Yummy!

Blog Challenge Day 11: Your Family

In the first part of the year my brother moved in with us to save some money, and after listening to his opinions for more than half a year I have some serious concerns about how he will react to my plans to become an SMC.

He, like the rest of my family, will not find out about my plans until or unless there is an actual baby on the way. But even when there is a baby I worry about his reaction to the whole idea of using a sperm donor to conceive a child, as well as raising a child without a father.

Over the years he has taken a path opposite to mine on several issues and his latest girlfriend is pulling him further down this path. It is no use arguing with him because he is one of those people who believes his opinion is always right and he is not very open minded. I don't believe that even if I explained my reasons for choosing to be an SMC that he would really listen or even try to understand.
And even if he did accept my choice I worry about some of the things he says sometimes. Things that are bordering on misogynistic. I don't want any son or daughter of mine around to hear that.

Yet, on the one hand I don't want to vilify him since he can be a nice person a lot of the time, but on the other hand I don't want to make excuses for him just because he's been through a divorce, which I think was the event that changed him most.

I think that unless he makes some kind of effort to be understanding and accepting, my best bet is probably to make sure my kids don't see their uncle very often, which is sad but probably better for everyone.

Blog Challenge Day 10: Songs

The title for this one is "put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that play".

1. Bad Horse Chorus - Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog soundtrack
2. Does Your Mother Know - Christine Baranski & Philip Michael, Mamma Mia! soundtrack
3. Beautiful Soul - Jesse McCartney
4. Bad Day - Daniel Powter
5. Bust Your Windows - Jazmine Sullivan
6. Point of No Return/Chandelier Crash - Phantom of the Opera soundtrack
7. Let Me In - Save Ferris
8. Forca - Nelly Furtado
9. Thriller - Michael Jackson
10. All I Ask of You (Reprise) - Phantom of the Opera soundtrack

Okay, shuffle was apparently in the mood for songs that are more than five years old tonight! And while I suppose it is representative of some of the different songs and soundtracks that have found their way onto my music player I wish it hadn't picked from the same soundtrack twice. Oh well.

Blog Challenge Day 9: How Important You Think Education Is

It's timely that this one should come in the middle of finals week.

For me there are two sides to education, formal and informal, and I think they are both quite important and work together to advance learning.

On the formal side I think everyone should be educated at least through a high school level, but beyond that the choice to do further education should be left up to the individual.
Some people do well in college and an advanced degree (or three!) is the right choice for them. Even those who struggle in education can still benefit from college if a specific job is their goal and they are willing to work hard.
However, for some people further education is simply not the best choice, whether they would do well or not. In this case jobs that don't require a degree might be the best option.

Outside of formal education I think it is important that people be life-long learners. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have, or if you don't have any at all, everyone can learn something new every day from all kinds of different sources. We just need to be open to absorbing any new information.

Blog Challenge Day 8: What You Ate Today

I meant to do pictures for this but I was about halfway through my post-lunch dessert when I remembered this topic was on tap for today. Ooops! So no pictures, but I'll post the list anyway.

Breakfast:

• Cereal with milk

Lunch:

• Egg salad sandwich
• Wavy chips
• A bit of cheese
• Muddy buddies for dessert

Dinner:

• Chicken Enchiladas
• Jello with fruit
• Mixed veggies
• A piece of chocolate
• A chocolate crinkle cookie

If I have an evening snack later it will probably either be more muddy buddies or zucchini bread.

Blog Challenge Day 7: Five Pet Peeves

1. My parents still say they "have to go potty".

2. When customers bring their dogs or food into my place of work without asking first, especially when they throw their food trash on the floor or leave it sitting on a shelf.

3. Horribly bad grammar and spelling. I know we all make mistakes every once in a while and that's fine, but there are some truly bad/sad examples on the internet, especially on many of the popular social media sites.

4. Drivers who insist on tailing me as closely as possible when I'm already going over the speed limit.

5. When my brother takes most of the food.

Blog Challenge Day 6: Your Views on Mainstream Music

I don't ask for much from my music. It either needs to have lyrics that speak to me, or a good beat, and not be annoying. I find that most mainstream music, and several musicals, fit the bill just fine.

Maybe I'm too lazy, or not hipster enough or something, but I've never felt the need or desire to sift through indie music to find the gems. Give me pop, give me rock, give me whatever the radio plays, so long as it fills my requirements.

Blog Challenge Day 5: Things You Want to Say to an Ex

Well, these three guys aren't exactly exes per se, but I did go on dates with each of them and I might still be a little bitter that I was such a doormat back then.

To Guy 1: Thank you so much for bringing your female best friend along on our first date. That didn't make it awkward at all. Also, thank you for pointing out how I didn't talk much during the date. I don't exactly talk much at the best of times but especially not in a group situation with near-strangers. Good thing your friend was there to dominate the conversation.

To Guy 2: If you had your eyes set on the girl you started dating immediately after our first date you really could have turned me down when I asked you out. Why get my hopes up and waste my time and yours? Also, that was so kind of you to ask if I had a boyfriend a month after our date and then tell me you weren't surprised that I didn't. Jerk. I was never more happy than when you left for study abroad.

To Guy 3: What in the actual hell was going on in your life/brain? Oh wait, you were in college, maybe that explains it. But seriously, why the farewell "date"? Wasn't one "date" enough? Also, I know you didn't think I knew what Crohn's disease was, I did. And I had a fun time imagining you with all the symptoms.

Blog Challenge Day 4: Bullet Your Whole Day

Today is a pretty boring day to bullet but here goes:

• 11:00am - Woke up (for the record I didn't get off work until about 2:30am or in bed until 4am and I don't have to get up early for school on Thursdays hence the late wake-up time)
• 11:00 - 12:00 Got ready for the day, ate breakfast while reading the newspaper
• 12:00- 2:00 Put away laundry, worked on my final project for my tax class
• 2:00 - 2:30 Ate lunch while working on my tax project
• 2:30 - 6:00 Worked on my tax project
• 6:00 - 8:00 Went to dinner with the family to celebrate my brother getting his pilot's license, got to go to a restaurant I've never been to before
• 8:00 - 10:00 Worked on my tax project, printed final copy of my tax project
• 10:00 Started blogging

I predict the rest of my day will include beginning studying for one of my finals, gathering information to complete another final project, and getting to bed sometime after midnight.

Blog Challenge Day 3: A Book You Love

I have several books that I love, many of which tend to be the popular reads like Lord of the Rings or Game of Thrones, so for this I thought I would talk about a book which isn't so massively popular but which I definitely love:

Alpine for You

Mystery novels have long been one of my favorite genres dating back to my grade school love of Nancy Drew and my middle school introduction to Agatha Christie. I love trying to guess "whodunnit" even though I hardly ever get it right. There have been several great mysteries and mystery series I have read over the years but Alpine For You and the rest of Maddy Hunter's Passport to Peril mystery series really stand out in my mind for their great combination of mystery, humor, and travel. Upon reading the series a second time I found myself laughing out loud all over again. The only thing I regret about getting hooked on these books is that Maddy Hunter only did six of them. It was a sad day when I finished the last one.

Update: After hitting publish I found out that after a five year break she has come out with three more novels in the series!!!!!!!
 

Blog Challenge Day 2: Something You Feel Strongly About

(This is just a general rant that stems from my own experience as a child and on into adulthood, I'm not accusing anyone who reads this blog of actually parenting this way)

To parents of all ages with children of all ages:

If your child comes to you with an idea they have that they are excited about, don't immediately tell them everything that is wrong with it.

I think this is done as a misguided attempt to protect children from the harsh reality of failure. After all, if a kid knows what to expect they won't be surprised when, or if, things go wrong.

But, instead of protecting kids by preparing them for the worst, this tactic ends up producing unexpected consequences. I know because I have lived them and am still struggling with them.

First, it destroys confidence. Kids get the message that none of their ideas are good enough. Kids also get the message that you don't believe they're smart enough to see the pitfalls of their ideas or that they're smart enough to come up with solutions to those pitfalls.

Second, your kid will stop sharing their ideas with you. In fact, they will go out of their way to keep from telling you their ideas.
Wouldn't you rather your child was excited to share something with you?

Finally, whenever your child comes up with an idea, he or she might internalize your lesson and immediately begin coming up with everything that is wrong with their idea, completely deflating any enthusiasm and stopping most ideas before they get off the ground.

Parents should be their child's cheerleader and supporter, not their child's harshest critic. There's a whole world of harsh critics who can fulfill that role. Parents need to lay the foundation for confidence. Confidence is such a big key to everything in life and it is extremely difficult to fashion confidence from nothing, and it is so hard to believe in yourself when no one else ever has.

So please, please don't rain on your child's parade.

Blog Challenge Day 1: Five Ways to Win Your Heart

Not that any males will read this but here is a 5-step guide to winning my heart.

 1. The proper way to ask me on a date/propose:

2. Compliment my cooking/baking.

3. Love animals, especially cats.

4. Be a good listener.

5. Don't be a know-it-all.

30 Day Blog Challenge

For the last month in my challenge to blog weekly I thought I'd change it up a bit. I found this list online and even though I suspect it might be directed more towards teenagers I thought it had some fun writing prompts. So for December I thought I'd give it a try. School is winding down but work is picking up so I guess we'll see how far I get.

Busy Times, Again

Homework is just relentless right now. I think it's because I'm still kind of playing catch-up from what I put off to finish my costume. Plus every class is having its final push of tests and projects before finals week.

Work has also picked up with the holiday season fast approaching which means late nights and lost weekends trying to get everything set up and ready. I honestly don't know how people can go to school, work, and raise kids at the same time. My hat is off to those people. There are several in my classes and I just don't know how they do it. In fact I'm kind of intimidated by the thought of balancing work and kids and a household as a single parent, but I hear its worth it!

Happy early Thanksgiving (or late if you're from Canada)!!

Back to the Drawing Board

I don't think I'll retire my sewing machine just yet, but now that I'm done with my costume I want to get back to the one hobby I have loved since childhood - drawing.

I haven't seriously put pencil to paper in a very, very long time and I find lately that my head is filled with images just itching to be drawn. Plus, a few years ago I was able to acquire the art desk my grandfather built for my grandma to do her art on. They were trying to sell it in a garage sale and I offered to buy it but they insisted on giving it to me instead. Ever since then it has lived in the sewing room and is currently used as a table to hold extra sewing supplies, but I hope to free it from the corner soon and put it to its intended use.

However, I get a little nervous thinking about taking up drawing again. I'm worried that my drawing skills will be a bit rusty and I'll be disappointed in myself. Drawing was always a source of pride for me when I was younger, but it has been so long since I've tried that I worry I won't be able to do justice to the images in my head. That was always the hardest part of drawing for me, taking an image from inside my head and getting it right on paper.

Found this on Pinterest. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

A Light in the Darkness

This week was one of great frustration and great excitement. At the beginning of the week I had my advising appointment so I could sign up for next semester's classes. I was under the impression I had six classes left which I was going to fit into spring and summer and be done by the end of next July at the very latest. So my adviser started ticking off the classes I had already taken and came up with seven left. Whaaaaat?!

Unnoticed by me, in small italic font, wedged at the bottom of one semester's list of requirements was an elective credit. And it must be a business elective, they wouldn't count any of the electives I had transferred in from my previous degree. And electives aren't offered in the summer, only certain core classes, and even those aren't guaranteed.

Oh, the frustration and disappointment of finding out that instead of being done with school in nine months at most, it will actually take me 13.5 more months. That one year from now I will still be right where I am. Oh, the pain of learning I have yet another class to pay for along with books and the tacked-on administrative fees that come with every new semester's tuition bill. The frustration of realizing I will be nearly 32 by the time I graduate, instead of just past 31. The disappointment of realizing that having to go to school through next December means no graduation vacation.

It's either that or I attempt to take six classes in the spring. Five classes in one semester I think I could have handled, but six just seems to tip the scales too much, especially when one is something like a mini thesis course.

This week would have been a very bad week if it hadn't been for the day after advising. On that day I came up with a wonderful business idea. And with that I could see light at the end of the tunnel. Finally a concrete career path to pursue that actually excites me. Something that, if it works out, might allow me to become an SMC while also being satisfied in my work life. It's intimidating to think about starting my own business, but exciting as well. And it, combined with the kerfuffle over classes, was almost enough to make me quit school once this semester is over, but for now I have chosen to continue finishing the degree. At least it is something to fall back on.

However, I still wonder if it wouldn't be better to quit, take on extra work at my current job or get another part-time job to save up some money while working on my business in the off hours. I don't know, I guess it's a gamble either way.

Costume, Part II - The Main Event

Just a warning - this post will be very picture-heavy.

First, I can't believe I forgot an accessory. On the day of the party I just wasn't satisfied with the earrings I had bought. They were beautiful but the round shape didn't fit with the theme and they just seemed too big, so I whipped up some easy pendant earrings with leftover beads bought for one of my previous necklace designs.

Earrings

On to the rest of the costume. When I finally settled on this Renaissance design for the main dress I thought maybe I could skip making all the underthings that are supposed to go with it and get away with just making the hoop skirt. Turns out I had to make all the underthings but the shift in order to get things to look right.

Underthings

Final dress pattern

So I made the corset, the hoop skirt, and the bum roll.

Corset front

Corset back

Close-up of corset boning

This costume was my first time working with boning and there was an absolute ton of it in the corset. The above picture shows one side of the corset where each channel has a strip of boning in it. Then in the middle of the corset is a piece of wood that was fitted into its own pocket and tied in with a ribbon. Apparently the wooden piece is called a busk and would turn out to be very important in giving the gown the correct look and shape.

Hoop skirt from the front

The bum roll

I'm not quite sure of the point of the bum roll, other than it acted almost like an extra hoop while also helping to lift the underskirt away from the hoops so they wouldn't show through as much. Or maybe Renaissance people just liked big butts!

Underthings from the front

Underthings from the back

Next was the underskirt which acted like a barrier between the hoops and the gown so the hoops wouldn't show through, plus the front panel provided a contrast fabric to the main gown.

Underskirt back

Underskirt front

 For the contrast fabric I used that same silver I had used in the rejected dress and once again it was very difficult to work with. I've worked with brocade before, even metallic brocades, and I've worked with slippery fabrics and done just fine but this one was an absolute bear to work with. Note how the sides of the silver fabric look like they're pulled up, that's because they were. The fabric had slipped from the felt backing while being sewed to the felt which caused it to drape incorrectly. I ended up pulling it tight and hand sewing to keep it pulled upward. At least the sides of the silver wouldn't get seen once the gown was over it.

Also note how you can see the outline of the top hoop. I had taken the top hoop in once already but probably should have taken it in more to combat this problem. Since I was in a time crunch, though, I left it because even taking it in a little bit completely changed the length of the gown and my cape, and I was worried about them getting too long.

 Next came the gown itself.

Gown back

Gown front

 The silver fabric was used for a contrast to line the sleeves and once again it slipped while being sewed. Maybe there's some trick I don't know about? Anyway, in the picture of the front of the gown it looks like the sleeve on the right has a silver border - it doesn't. The silver brocade just decided to lay funny so here's another picture which shows the sleeves better.

These sleeves weren't part of the original dress pattern, I actually took them from a different pattern that I already had and it took a little work to get them to fit with the partial sleeve already attached to the bodice of the gown because the existing sleeve was much wider than the piece I needed to attach. I ended up doing a tuck on the underside of the existing sleeve which allowed me mostly full range of motion, then I sewed the new sleeve on and the lacing allowed me to fit the pieces together without it being obvious they were two different sizes.

Sleeve pattern (top right)

Close-up of sleeve detail

To this I added the accessories I had made, like the belt and necklace. I also embellished the bodice of the gown with trim and pearls. I wanted to do so much more embellishment but there just wasn't enough time.

Close-up of the bodice detail

With belt and necklace

Then I added the cape which I ended up making out of a bright white polyester shantung - much easier to embroider than the crushed velvet.

My beginner embroidery - Celtic snowflakes

 I had two embroidery patterns I wanted to use, Celtic snowflakes and Norse wolves. I ended up doing the snowflakes on the bottom front corners then for the wolves I cut the pattern in half and did them on either side of the top front. Both patterns were bought from the very excellent online embroidery store Urban Threads. I really wanted to connect the patterns with a border of Celtic embroidery and then do the same border pattern around the bottom but that was another thing I ran out of time for.

Crappy picture + beginner embroidery, Wolf pattern

Wolf pattern

Close-up of cape detail, better picture of wolf embroidery

Cape front

Cape back

To the final costume I added the rest of the accessories I talked about in the previous post - crown, shoes, etc. and then I covered my face, neck, and lower arms in white makeup and wore a white wig and some fake nails I had painted white. Honestly the makeup ended up being more trouble than it was worth because I didn't have time to apply it properly before my family party started. The wig was also a lot of trouble, especially because it was very thin in the back and tough to pin the crown onto.

As for pictures of me in the costume? Well, my mom snapped two quick pictures as my friend and I were heading out the door to our other costume party, but she took them with her camera instead of mine and I haven't yet been able to get them from her. Plus I'm a little nervous to see those pics as I know the makeup did not look good that night. However, when the snow flies my plan is to have pictures taken of me in the costume outside. My sister is just starting out as a professional photographer and has already agreed to do the pictures for me, we are both quite excited about doing a session and I'm sure those pics will look a lot better than any from the party.

Costume, Part I - Accessories and Do-Overs

At least part of the reason this costume took so long to create was because I couldn't make up my mind which direction I wanted to go with it. I just knew that in the end I wanted to look like an elegant Snow Queen. I had to laugh when Frozen came out because I knew similar costumes would gain in popularity and, had I finished in 2013 as I originally intended, I would have beaten the release of Frozen. Anyway.....

I wasn't sure if I should make the costume more elvish and woodsy, light and ethereal, or queenly and commanding. In the end I went with queenly and commanding because it was easier to envision and there were more costume patterns to choose from in that style.

Still, I wanted it to be as "realistic" and "authentic" as possible. It's hard for me to explain what I mean by realistic and authentic other than I was sure I did not want to use any fabric that had an actual snowflake pattern printed on it. Ditto for overly sparkly fabrics. However, I still wanted to evoke a little bit of an ethereal and natural element to the costume so I went for things that reminded me of ice, icicles, and snowflakes without being blatant. As you will see over the next couple posts my costume ended up becoming what I call Queen of Winter Goes to the Ball.

First pattern (bottom left style)

Unfinished reject

First, my early mistakes. I started this first dress while I still thought I might go in the elvish and woodsy direction. But when I was nearly done with the dress and tried it on I decided it just wasn't working for me. The white fabric was pretty much see-through. The silver fabric draped funny in the front, made my chest look weird, and didn't really work with the white fabric. Plus I thought the silver fabric kind of made for a space alien-looking collar. So I started again.

Too much like a wedding dress

The next pattern was one I had actually bought before the elvish one. I went back to it after I realized the elvish dress just wasn't working. I thought long and hard about whether I should use this pattern and do a silver dress with white contrast or a white dress with silver contrast. Ultimately I decided a white dress would be more in line with my vision for a Snow Queen, and also that the silver brocade, although gorgeous, was too hellish to work with for an entire dress. However, once I finally made up my mind to go with a white dress and silver accents I realized this pattern would likely look too much like a wedding dress. So it was back to the drawing board.

Nearly finished crushed velvet cape

Cape style (bottom right)

One thing I was sure I wanted to make, no matter the style of dress, was a cape. I started with a pattern I had used once before which made a decent cape and by the time I was done I had made the same cape three times for this costume. Twice in two different fabrics and once for the lining. First I made it from a beautiful off-white crushed velvet which perfectly matched the fake fur I bought to trim it with. I nearly completed the crushed velvet cape before realizing my heart was set on adding embroidery, and as a beginner embroiderer I didn't fancy my chances of floating the crushed velvet in order to embroider on it without ending up with hoop burn. So, this got set aside as well in favor of another fabric.

These are just a few examples of things I did more than once for this costume. The necklace I did got remade three times, and the trim and beading on the final gown got redone twice with two separate trims. I was beginning to think I would end up doing everything more than once before I was done but thankfully that wasn't the case.

Final necklace

On to the accessories. I started with the necklace, which I originally envisioned as a statement necklace, so I gathered beads of all kinds from tiny clear seed beads, to pearls, to large pendants. My original vision didn't work so I scrapped that and attempted a mishmashed twist of beads. That also didn't work so I went for something simpler and finally hit on the right combination. It was my first time working with wire instead of chain to make a necklace and I was pleased with how it turned out. I think the silver spikes look like icicles and the silver filigree looks like snowflakes (though I think they were meant to be flowers). Still, I love the combination with the clear glass beads.

Crown front

Crown from the side

Next I made the crown, which I felt was quite possibly the most important piece of the entire costume because it was needed to really make it clear what I was trying to be. Despite the pressure placed on getting the crown right it was actually one of the easier pieces I made. I found a couple great online tutorials here and here and I took the best of both to create what I wanted. The crown is mostly made of hot glue, then wire for the base plus silver nail polish, glitter nail polish and iron-on jewels (which I glued on).

The Mask

Following that I made a mask which was the one piece I didn't end up wearing. I thought it turned out great but when I put it on I realized I made too many "icicles" and it wasn't delicate enough to give the effect I wanted. Instead it looked too solid and a little too much like a superhero mask from a distance. It is also made from hot glue, silver and sparkly nail polish, glued-on jewels and elastic for string. The inspiration and tutorial for it came from here.

Belt

 Next I made a belt which was the easiest and quickest accessory I made. I took the pendants that I had originally bought to use for my statement necklace idea and just attached them to a chain I had bought. It took some experimenting to get everything even so it would lay properly as a belt and then it took me a while to decide which beads would hang on the very ends of the chain but otherwise I was amazed at how quickly it was done. The beads on the end aren't pictured here but they're the same as the clear glass ones in the necklace.

Shoes

Lastly for accessories I quickly fabric-covered a pair of my mom's old shoes. I didn't need to be very creative with these as they weren't going to be seen. Still, I wanted something that matched with the theme. They are covered with the fabric I ended up using for my dress, then covered with more glued-on jewels, and hot glue icicles (which don't really show up in the picture).

I think that's a long enough post for now. To be continued.