Call Me Lazy

And the number ten reason why I'm happy I'm single:

10. Shaving

I don't have to shave nearly as often as I would if I had a boyfriend, especially in the winter when no one sees my legs anyway. It saves me much time and hassle (and shaving cream)!

Of course winter is marching to a close and summer will bring back skirts and capris and the end of my reprieve, but for now I'm enjoying my longer stretches of time off.

Breaking Up is Hard to Do

Another great advantage to being single:

9. No chance of divorce

Even with the best of outcomes I imagine that shared custody of a child or children would be hard. Birthdays and holidays have to be split. Either with a morning/evening split or a "you get the kids this Christmas, I get them next Christmas" kind of thing. And it seems like some parents try to one-up the other parent in the gift-giving department - almost like a competition to see who can spoil the kids more.
Also, what if your ex decides to get married again and you don't like their new spouse? What if you don't want that person around your children?
And if the divorce isn't amicable then the children are the ones who suffer the most, constantly having their loyalties torn between two people. Hearing one parent bash the other and vice versa. Such a sad situation for all involved.

Crime & Punishment & More

The next reason I'm happy to be single is actually a combination of two reasons that share the same general topic:

8. Fighting
The two parts of this one are arguing over the discipline of a child and actually fighting in front of the children.

Do you prefer time-out? What if he prefers a more extreme punishment like spanking? What if you agree on a punishment only to have him relent before the agreed punishment is over? Maybe you're the one who wants to relent. And while you're too busy arguing over what kind of punishment is best, and how to mete it out, your child is getting mixed messages and/or getting into more trouble.

You know that uncomfortable feeling you get when two people are arguing and you're nearby? Sometimes I've had that same uncomfortable feeling watching couples argue on FB. I don't like to argue or fight and I don't like to be around other people doing it. And I know kids are affected by fighting, especially when it's between the two people they're most familiar with. And even if the fighting is just words and never escalates into yelling, slamming doors, breaking things, or abuse it is still uncomfortable and not something I want to put my kids through.

To Grandmother's House We Go

I have observed the following happen to my married friends and family and I don't envy them fot it:

7. The Holidays
Your grandparents want you to come for Thanksgiving, your in-laws want you to come for Christmas, but wait - your side of the family will all be at your parents' house this year, including your favorite aunt you hardly ever see. Did Uncle Bob forget to mention he'd really like to see you and meet the baby on New Years?? During Christmas the in-laws invited you to come again at Easter but your parents are upset, they didn't get to see you guys for the past two holidays, but your husband's parents live 2,000 miles away and they're upset because they feel like they never get to see you, or their son, or the baby. The holidays, a time of family togetherness, are turning into one gigantic family feud and now all you want to do is stay home...

If I become a SMC then I will have exactly two options for holidays - go to the one person/family that is hosting or stay home. Things are much less chaotic that way.

You Lost Our Life Savings Playing Poker?!?!

I worry about money - who doesn't?? Right now I'm on a monetary diet to help pay more on my student loan. I've had to budget and I've done well sticking to it. This brings me to reason number six why I'm happy I'm single:

6. Finances
 Partners can be a boon to finances, but they can also be a detriment. I have a friend whose husband gambled away the savings account her parents had started for her. I'm so glad I don't have to worry about that. Neither do I have to argue about who pays the bills (I actually like being the one in charge of this). And I don't have to worry about keeping track of someone who is irresponsible with the money we are supposed to share.
And while baby-making might turn out to be expensive (not to mention the expenses of child-rearing) at least it is only my money on the line and I don't have the guilt of feeling like I'm spending too much of "our" money in the pursuit of one goal.

On a different note - Happy Valentine's Day!!

The cookies I made for today, yum yum!

Arrghh, He Left the Toilet Seat Up Again!!

I may not be sharing a bathroom now but that doesn't mean I haven't shared one with a guy (mostly my brother) so this brings me to reason number five why I'm happy I'm single:

5. I get the bathroom all to myself

Not sharing a bathroom is a glorious thing.....
The toilet seat is NEVER left up.
There is no beard hair coating the sink and no towels on the floor.
I don't have to wait while someone else uses the shower and no one is waiting for me to get out.
No one uses up all my soap or shampoo.
No one uses up all the toilet paper and then forgets to put on a new roll.
I have use of the entire countertop plus all the cupboards and drawers for my stuff (how did I get so many toiletries??).
Plus my bathroom decor and color scheme don't have to be manly at all. And I can make it my own little spa and no one will object.

This is why, when I finally get my own place, I would like two full baths so I can continue to have my own retreat and any guests and kids can have theirs.

His Mother Just Called - She Wants to Stay for a Month.....

Another great thing about being single:

4. No In-laws

Not as good a cook as his ex? Well-meaning but condescending advice? Surprise visits? House not pass the white glove test?

These are just a few of the small tiffs and outright battles that occur with a clash of the in-laws and single people like myself can breathe a collective sigh of relief because we don't have to deal with it.

Sure, I've heard good things about some in-laws, but I've heard plenty of bad too and right now it's enough just dealing with my own family, I'm glad I don't have to stress out about impressing somebody else's.

Number Three

Now for reason number three why I'm happy to be single:

3. Baby Names
My list of names has already been squeezed pretty thin. Actually, I've stopped making baby name lists and won't be looking through any baby name books until I have a wee one on the way because I don't want to fall in love with another name only to "lose" it.
Already two of my favorite boy names have been taken over by girls. One of my favorite girl names is way too similar to my niece's name. And if it is the name of someone I know, or have known, then it also goes off the list.
Some names get eliminated because friends and family have used the names for their kids. Not to mention if the name is too popular it also gets cut.
So, with all this already hindering me I can't imagine adding in someone else's preferences or prejudices.

Continuing the Celebration

Once when I was on Po.st S.ecret I saw a post from a man about getting a secret vasectomy right before he and his wife started trying for child number two. He explained they had no money for fertility tests and bragged that he was getting "it" a lot while never worrying about creating another kid. Meanwhile I'm sure his wife was getting frustrated and sad every month she couldn't get pregnant. This brings me to reason number two why I'm happy I'm single:

2. TTC
I choose when I want to start a family - I don't have to nag some poor guy until he gives in, likewise there's no one pushing me before I'm sure.
I can choose what method to use and if I want to try IUI five times before moving to IVF then it's nobody's money but my own. And if I decide I need to move to donor eggs, donor embryos, or adoption I can do so without a partner's objections.
I decide how many children I want (with the exception of multiples) and don't have to worry about a significant other wanting more or fewer. (See the above-mentioned jerk)
And I decide when I've had enough and feel I need to stop TTC without feeling as though I'm letting down my significant other if they want to give it another try.

Celebrating Singledom in the Month of Love

So it's February now and the stores are brimming with chocolates, stuffed animals, Valentine cards and enough pink and red to blind a person. And typical of nearly every year in my life I don't have a significant other for the 14th. But this year, rather than drown my sorrows in a pint of chocolate peanut butter ice cream, I'm going to celebrate all the things I like about being single. And I made a list of them. So, without further ado (but in no particular order) here is reason number one:

1. I get the bed all to myself.
I can spread out, lay whichever way I want, toss and turn and never once worry about being a space invader or waking someone else up.
All the pillows are mine and I can surround myself with as many as I need.
All the blankets are mine and you better believe I'll be piling on more if it's cold or pushing them off when it's hot.
I don't have someone else's cold feet poking me and I'm not annoying them with mine.
I can deck out my bed in purple flowery sheets and no one will protest.
When I go to bed late at night I'm not waking anyone up. And nobody wakes me with their before-the-sunrise schedule.
And best of all - I don't have to listen to anyone snoring!