I think I have finally caught up on all the posts I missed when my computer was being fixed and first I must say my heart goes out to
Shannon and
Claire. Both of you ladies are so strong. I wish you both the best possible outcomes.
What will I do if I get overwhelmed?
I've been dreading writing this post because I have no good answer to this question. It's not even an easy question to pin down because what might be overwhelming on one day could be doable on another. The planner in me wants a solution at the ready for any problem that could come up. But I know that is impossible. I need to learn to roll with the punches a little more. Be a little more flexible in my plans and make the best of the time I have to get things done.
But sometimes I look at my life and I'm amazed how little I seem to accomplish in a day or a weekend. Even when I've devoted my time to crossing things off my list, somehow the mountain of things to do never shrinks. How am I possibly going to be able to add a baby to my life and get anything besides sleeping (ha!) and breathing done?? And maybe some eating thrown in there? How do you single ladies who already have kids fit in things like haircuts, banking, grocery shopping, shopping in general, household chores, doctors' visits, and all the other things that happen in life while still working full-time jobs?
I actually did a lot of thinking about this question over the past week as I wrenched, and cursed, and begged my key to release from the ignition when all I wanted to do was lock my car and go into work.
I thought what would I do if this happened and I had a screaming infant with me? It's my only car, what if my parents weren't around to loan me their truck or take my car into the shop to get fixed? It's not like I could strap an infant carrier onto a bicycle (which I don't have anyway). We don't even have any form of public transportation in my town.
What if I had to miss work to get my car repaired? I can't exactly afford to miss work, and with the boss and another employee on vacation it would have left one employee for the morning rush. What would I do if I needed to pick a sick child up from the babysitter/daycare/school? Heck, I couldn't even pick a child up from daycare at the end of my regular work hours because I couldn't get my car into drive.
These thoughts kept going through my mind on the day of Ignition Failure and I couldn't figure out what I would do if I didn't have my parents to turn to and that bothers me. Sometime between college and now I backslid a little in the independence department and I need to correct that. What would I do if I lived in a different town from them? What will I do when they're gone?
I would like to feel strong and mature and more like the adult that I am because how can I possibly be the parent to a child when sometimes I feel like a child myself? Does anyone else ever feel this way? And is parenting plus taking care of life's chores really as overwhelming as it seems? Or is it just as overwhelming but you figure it out as you go along anyway?
