Alone

 (Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. I know many of you understand how hard it is to lose a pet and your comments were very much appreciated.)


I miss my little princess so much. She really was the sweetest cat in the world. Never once did she bite, scratch, or hiss at me (or anyone). I don't think there will ever be another cat like her.

Last Thursday and Friday were really hard at work. I just wanted to tell everyone to shove it and then go curl up in a ball and cry. I was weepy all day at work, trying really hard not to cry in front of everyone, but my brain would just go there and I couldn't help it.

Home feels very lonely without my sweetheart, despite my parents living here. It's just not the same without her. I keep thinking I hear her meowing outside my bedroom door and I start to get up to let her in when I realize she's not there. I catch glimpses of black out of the corner of my eye and expect it to be her but it's not. I find myself wondering if she'll be in my room wanting her usual rubs when I come home from work, only to remember that she won't be.

I knew one day she would pass on. Her age was getting to her more and more since July and I thought I was prepared for this eventuality but you know, I never actually thought it would happen.

Requiescat In Pace

A few simple sentences do not do justice to the eighteen wonderful years we spent together.

I don't think I can ever fully describe the absolute joy of having you in my life, nor how much I am missing you now. You were my confidant, my snuggle buddy, my everything. Thank you for reading with me and helping me do projects. Thank you for all the kisses. Your purr brightened my world and you always knew exactly how to make me feel better. You and I were meant to be. I love you forever and always. Rest in peace my best, most cherished friend.

Gypsy

5/1/1994 - 10/17/2012

I will miss you with all my heart, until we meet again.

A Slight Detour to Fantasyland, Followed by Cold Hard Reality

When I made my List I thought about adding Dating to it. I thought maybe I should give it another go, fire up the old dating site profile and get back in the game, you know, just to be sure.

But yesterday I got a reminder of why it didn't quite make the list.

You see, yesterday I met "Thor". If you are like me and have ever had Viking fantasies (hello Chris Hemsworth and Eric from True Blood) I am sure you would share my lust for this guy. He was a Viking made real, all taut muscle and blonde hair. He even had facial hair which just completed the rugged Viking picture for me. Drool.

I am sure you all know what they say about first impressions being the most lasting?? Right, well, you could win money by betting on me to make a bad first impression with a cute guy. It just comes naturally to me.

Before we get to the bad first impression let me give you a little background. I've known of the existence of Thor for a few weeks now. He works part-time at a brewhouse just across the street from where I work and I had seen him from afar when I was in there. My coworker J knows him because he frequents the brewhouse. My coworker K apparently went to high school with him. Since learning of Thor's existence I have been told by J that he has also appeared in a local movie. So it's not like he was entirely unknown to me, though I had never officially met him or seen him up close.

So, back to yesterday. My distance vision has been getting really bad lately so when he first walked into my work I didn't realize it was him. I thought (because he was carrying a piece of paper) that he was yet another solicitor or ad rep. I didn't notice who he was until he came up closer, but by then it was too late. I had already adopted my "no, the boss is not in today, please come back tomorrow" attitude. This includes having arms crossed and a serious businesswoman look on my face. And it's not like I could suddenly drop the pretense and slap on a flirty smile. That would have been a little too obvious, plus I am so not good at flirting.

Added to the crossed arms and near-glare on my face was a giant red zit, conveniently located on the fat roll that becomes a double chin when I put my head down, as I was doing at the time. Why, oh why, didn't I put make-up on that zit?!

Added to this mess was my frizzy, unruly, barely-combed hair making every attempt to escape from my ponytail so I was kind of rockin' the Albert Einstein look. I had on minimal make-up because I had rushed out the door that morning and I was wearing my frumpy, cable-knit, oatmeal, blends-into-my-skin-tone sweater. So. Not. Hot.
The only thing I had going for me were my sexy jeans. Not that they counted for much.

Anyway, turns out he just needed our boss to sign a Name Use agreement in case the business ended up in the background of the new movie he and his friends were filming.
I told Thor, while stumbling over my words and trying in vain to quell the blush creeping up my cheeks, that he would have to come back the next day when our boss would be in. He addressed the piece of paper to my boss, left it with me, and was off like a prom dress, moving so quickly he might have been the real Thor. So much for sticking around so I could admire his hotness a little more.

Still, he did come back today. And today I made an effort to look somewhat cute. Too bad he came in at the end of the day when my hair had returned to it's naturally frizzy state and my make-up had all but worn off. He stopped for a bit where I was, awkwardly looking at everywhere but me while I attempted to arrange my face into a cute smile (not the easiest expression when my cheeks are frozen by nerves). But then he moved on to follow my coworker to my boss's office. When they were done conversing he walked out just as quickly as the day before.

Sigh. He's way out of my league anyway. Guess I'll have to settle for admiring him from afar.

EDIT: I wrote this on 10/11/12 but didn't get finished until after midnight, so these events took place on Wednesday 10/10 and Thursday 10/11.