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Monday, June 13, 2011

Too Little, Too Late

Yesterday I quit the last dating site I had a profile on. I tell myself it's because I am too busy to keep up with it right now, and to some extent I am, but I know that's not my only excuse. No, the truth is I think I'm a little scared of dating again.
I've had some pretty bad first dates in the past with some boys who were less than nice when I didn't measure up to their expectations and I know their comments are still lurking in my mind eating away at my confidence.
Now whenever a guy mentions meeting up for coffee or some kind of date I go into panic mode and come up with excuses to delay it until I finally end up quiting the site.
I have no love for the dreaded first date, no excitement for the "getting to know you" phase. I just want to move on to being comfortable with each other. Do you think it's too much to ask for a relationship that starts in the middle instead of at the beginning?

In other news from the dating world I found out yesterday that one of my best guy friends has a girlfriend (sort of). They are currently in the previously mentioned "getting to know you" phase.
In the past whenever I thought about him getting a girlfriend I thought I'd be totally cool with it. Afterall I knew it was bound to happen sometime and he deserves it after four and a half years of loneliness.
So imagine my surprise when feelings other than happiness bubbled to the surface after he made his announcement. Don't get me wrong I am very happy for him, but I also feel sad. Sad in that possessive kind of way you get when you know he used to have a tiny crush on you, even though he was on the rebound at the time, and you just weren't sure if you were ready to potentially ruin a budding friendship. But I do wish him the best. Truly. Don't let the cute picture fool you.

Photo courtesy of Google Images


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