Don't Blink or You'll Miss It

Time seems to be speeding up for most things these days, except work and school, but this year summer especially felt as though it was over in a flash. It feels almost like I went to bed in May and woke up in September and summer was just a brief dream I had.

High temperatures are predicted to be in the 80's for this coming week, and yet ever since September began it has felt like fall in the air. I wonder if that has to do with the sun slowly changing position in the sky so our days are shorter and we get less direct heat?

Whatever the cause it feels like summer is over and I missed out on many of the things I look forward to in summertime. I didn't even get to make ice cream once and I remember thinking last winter how I couldn't wait for summer so I could try making a couple new flavors. Oh well, I guess there's no rule that says you can't enjoy ice cream in the fall and winter too.

But I also missed out on camping and vacationing. I got out of town for only one night this summer to go with my family to a concert in a nearby city. That was the first time I had left town in over a year. Ugh. It just makes me doubly determined to plan some sort of vacation for when I finally finish this degree.

Down to the Wire

It's crunch time on one of my projects as I now have less than two months left to do the majority of what needs to be done on it.

For the past several years I have made elaborate costumes for Halloween. It started out as a way to indulge a childhood fantasy of mine, which was to be a belly dancer. So I made my own belly dance costume and after that it was just kind of expected at our annual family party that I would debut a new creation.

But the kind of costumes I do are fairly expensive and time-consuming to make and then I only really get to wear them once or twice at most.

So before I began this costume over a year ago I decided it would be my grand finale. I've gone through three different dress designs, even going so far as to make most of one dress before changing my mind. Then I got busy with school and work, and instead of working on the costume I kept putting it off. It was supposed to be done for last Halloween and now I'm scrambling to get it ready for this one. I'm hoping when it is done I'll have the time to do a picture post of everything that has gone into it as I am aiming for it to be the most elaborate costume I've ever done.

Adventure-itis

No deep thoughts this week, though I have been feeling a little less numb. Mostly I've been dreaming about the graduation vacation I talked about a while ago.
There's a road trip I've been fantasizing about for several years and I'm thinking once I start working full-time again I won't have enough time to do it justice until I hit retirement - and who knows how my life will be then.
Still, it's a big trip to take on and I'm not sure if any of my friends are crazy enough to join me, but at least it's fun to think about.

Numb and a Bit Hedonistic

Honestly that's how I've been feeling lately. And it's not a new feeling.

I'm pretty sure the numbness gradually started around my 30th birthday and only after my recent pity party accelerated to the point it is now.

Babies, houses, marriage, jobs. I just feel numb when I think about them. All these are the "carrots" that have been dangling in front of me my whole life and which I've faithfully plodded after. And they've always been just out of reach.
And now it feels as though I don't even see the carrots anymore. Perhaps this is to save myself the heartache of wanting them when they are still so far out of my grasp.

Because I know that somewhere inside me I still want them badly and I will continue to puzzle out what could be the best living and working situation for when I'm done with school, but I've just lost the ability to think of my dreams as tangible goals. Better not to think of them at all.

Enter the hedonism. The pleasures of the here and now. Good food, books, television, movies, music. Anything to escape into and distract my mind from the future.

Childcare

It's really great to hear what systems work best for others while raising kids, whether staying near family or not having family close by. I just wish I knew what would work best for me. Not for the first time do I wish I had a crystal ball that would show me how things would turn out should I make one decision or the other.

One thing I am sure on is that at some point after having a kid I will need some form of childcare. Honestly, the only people I think I would truly trust to care for my child on a regular basis are myself and my parents. It's not that I don't believe that there are fantastic nannies and daycare centers out there, it is just part of my personality that I will always end up worrying about what could go wrong if I have to leave something so precious in the hands of someone I barely know.

My hangups about childcare would seem to be a pro for staying near my parents but I know I'll have to get some other form of childcare for part of the time anyway, because while I know they enjoy babysitting my nieces and nephews, I also know they enjoy having days in between to do their own thing.

So, if I need childcare for a few days a week anyway, is it really that much of a stretch to get childcare for five days a week, so long as I could find a place or a person I trust?

My other issue with childcare is a far future one - what do working parents do with school-age children who are too old for daycare but too young to be home by themselves for a few hours after school? I guess there are after-school programs, or babysitters, or maybe work would be flexible but what about during the summer?