O' Karma, Where Art Thou?

I'm finally getting around to My Life Feels Like a Cosmic Joke, Part 2.

The Past

*This first part is a cliffs notes version of one of the worst times in my life and I will never be able to fully convey in this, or any blog post, just how bad it was, so I will stick with a summary.*

My best friend in college up and decided one day she no longer wanted to be my friend. It was literally overnight that she decided this. Her excuse? I was too "depressed". I was shocked as I had never been depressed up to that point. I don't know if she misinterpreted my introversion for depression (I never laughed as loudly at her lame jokes as our other friends did) or if she was taking her hurt over her parents' divorce out on me. Whatever the real excuse she went from warm friend one day to icy bitch the next and no amount of tears or effort on my part convinced her to be anything less than cold and indifferent to me for the remaining three months we had to live together until college graduation. Those final three months were pure torture. Throw a boy into the mix (a boy my ex-friend also had history with), add in some "friends" gleeful for gossip, and you have a recipe for the deep depression I ended up falling into and which took me years to climb out of.

During and after the fallout we continued to share mutual friends. This has meant being brought together over the years for weddings and baby showers, etc. It has also meant any gossip in my life finds its way to her and vice versa.

So, one of the things that sustained me over the years was the old saying "living better is the best revenge".

I was going to have the better life and for once she would be jealous of me.

The Present

If you regularly read my blog then you know that I went from a low-paying job to a crappy higher-paying job, to temp work, and finally back to school with occasional low-paying part-time work. I still live with my parents and, with hardly any income on my part, I am sure to be in their house for the foreseeable future. I don't have a boyfriend and prospects for finding one are rather low. This is how my life stands right now.

How has my ex-friend fared? Thanks to nepotism she was able to land a job she was barely qualified for at a company that was recently voted one of the best and nicest in town. She must be doing okay at it because she got a promotion about a year or two ago. It's a good paying job and she was able to move out of her mom's house just a few years after college. But the real kick in the gut to me was learning of her engagement last year. She came with her boyfriend to our mutual friend's wedding last February and I will be honest and admit that he is decently good looking. As far as I know they were married last September. I'm sure it is only a matter of time before I hear that she's knocked up.

So much for living better and revenge.