I shared the previous post because it was one step on my journey of letting go. When I learned my ex-friend was engaged, and then married, I felt anger
first, then a sort of dark humor in comparing our situations (which is where that post comes from). Now, months after hearing of her marriage, I just have a feeling of
release and I think I'm in a place where I can begin letting go of the pain of that particular time. It took a long time to get here but I feel ready to stop holding onto the hurt because it has been such a heavy burden to carry.
It was almost like she and I were competing in a game. Now that she has what I have always wanted it feels as though the game is over. It would have been nice if I had "won" but I am free of the game nonetheless. I don't have to constantly worry about how I am doing compared to her. I'm free to live my life however it plays out.
But, I won't lie and pretend that I am a saint. I can't bring myself to forgive and forget and I'm not entirely sure she deserves that. I know that seeing her at friends' events, or accidentally bumping into her around town, will still be difficult and uncomfortable. I know we won't speak to each other, or be friends again, by mutual choice and that's okay.
Someday Karma may come back to bite her, or not - I may never find out. But maybe now I can stop dwelling on the past and begin moving on.
Good for you. Letting go & moving on is so hard
ReplyDeleteI agree with Tiara. You are showing a lot of strength.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard but I think you should be proud of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI think learning that life isn't fair is one of the most difficult lessons. Good things don't always happen to good people or people who work hard for them. It will never be right but understanding that it's life has helped me move forward at times.
Letting go when someone has hurt you so deeply is REALLY hard. But it sounds like that's what you've finally done - impressive!
ReplyDeleteI firmly believe that things are going to turn around for you, that you're really on the right track. And when you can finally feel that she might be jealous of you, the wonderful thing is you won't really care anymore! :)
Kudos to be moving on. Enjoy your life and all it has to offer. You will reach all those milestones you desire - its just a matter of time.
ReplyDelete