Writing this timeline out has me incredibly depressed.
Finishing my Associates will take another year. That puts me at age 31 right before graduation. In order to get a decent-paying job I need a Bachelors. This will take me another two years if they accept all my Associates classes for transfer. That puts me at age 33 right before graduation. Then I need to find a job and hope it is one I like with a good company that pays a decent starting wage. Then I need to wait through any probationary period at the job and also calculate bills versus the cost of TTC. That puts me at age ?? for a start time. Another three years of waiting at the very least.
In my head I've gone over all the different options for shortening this timeline and, few as they are, I can find none that are very feasible. Short of a miracle, or winning the lottery, all the options seem to be a constant fight of time versus money.
I hate feeling so helpless
I remember being angry, frustrated, and heartbroken with every little thing that prevented me from adopting back in the day (five years of being too young were spent thinking, saving money, and researching followed by 2.5 years of active trying). In hindsight, I'm thankful for it. Not only did it prevent me from adopting which lead me to having a biological child instead, but I do think I learned a bunch of life lessons that have helped me be a better parent (more patience, stronger adapting/problem solving skills, more independence, etc.). Keep working towards your goals, it will all happen in time.
ReplyDeleteI understand your frustration. I had to wait almost 4 years between deciding to try to become a mother and actually being able to try. By that point I was 37 and I didn't become a mother until I was 39. It's hard to wait, and I don't really think I have any wise words that will make it feel any easier. But please don't lose hope. It can still happen and it WILL be worth the wait.
ReplyDeleteI'm like Jenny; I have no wise words. I know though that it takes time to accomplish all that we want. Keep plugging away.
ReplyDeleteThat is hard...having to wait so long for something you want so badly. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteYou really are quite amazing in my opinion. I've never had a timeline and I think this was the reason I've had so much trouble and this is why I'm so impressed with you. You're organized and doing the right thing. I'm really sorry it makes you upset that it's going to be years but with this timeline you will stay on track. You're really an inspiration to me to try harder to plan and set goals. Try to cheer up. The time will fly.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the waiting. You are definitely bettering yourself in the mean while and doing what's best for you and future baby. Though it sucks right now. . .yep, that it does :(
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