Ugh. I still can't let the graduate school/no graduate school debate go.
I just want to make a decision one way or another and be happy with it but I have tried what seem like 100 different ways to come up with a solution to this question and not a single one has left me feeling completely satisfied. Every time I think of a reason not to go I come back around to a reason that I should go. Back and forth, round and round until my mind is dizzy from running in circles.
I even tried for an objective opinion with a little device that is much like an electronic magic 8 ball. I asked it "should I go to graduate school?" and while it was coming up with an answer I found myself hoping it would say "no", which it did. Then I felt guilty for hoping it would say no.
Now I've gone back to basics and come up with a good, old-fashioned Pros/Cons list
Pros:
- I'd no longer have to wonder if I'd regret not going
- I could have a career instead of just a job
- I could do something that excites me
- The Master's program is only a year long
- I wouldn't have to take the GRE to get in
- I could get it out of the way before having kids
- I could help bring an ExArch degree program to America
- It's in England
- I might actually feel like a professional and like I've accomplished something
Cons:
- It's a lot of money
- It pushes TTC farther back than I would like
- It's a lot of money
- Essays, presentations, homework, studying, dissertation, thesis, graduate committee reviews
- Have I mentioned it's a lot of money?
- It's in England
- My kitty is old and not doing well
- Our three store kitties need loving homes and I won't be able to take any of them if I'll be gone for a year
- I am six years post Bachelor's and the knowledge I learned is fading fast
- I would need to find professors who remember me and would be gracious enough to write references for me
- I would have to find a different school to get a PhD
- It is likely I would have to move out of state to get a job
- I might spend all this time and money and still end up in a job that has nothing to do with my degree
Well, the Cons list is longer (even without my repeats about money) but if I decide not to go to graduate school then that begs the question - what kind of job will I do instead??
Change is hard and can be a big gamble. Either way you decide, I hope you can find a job which you enjoy. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt's such a big decision to make, and it's not an easy one. I wish I could tell you what you should do, but only you know what will be best for you and your future. The fact that you were wishing the magic-eight-ball-type thing would say "no" is very telling, and perhaps that's what you need to go with right now. My one bit of advice would be to be very aware of the possibility of future regrets and whether or not you think you can live with them. Speaking as someone who is now very near 39 and didn't pursue her dream to get a PhD, I can tell you that I regret it. It isn't the kind of regret that keeps me up at night, but I have a feeling that it's only going to get worse as the years go on.
ReplyDeleteWhatever you decide, I hope that you will find yourself in a happy place. :)
Wow. That's one pros cons list in which neither outweighs the other. What does your heart of hearts tell you?
ReplyDeleteWishing you lots of luck as you try to decide!
I always fall back on the pro-con lists, but sometimes, even if the con lists is bigger, the pro list has more important pieces to it. I hate making big choices like this though. Good luck.
ReplyDelete