Now for reason number three why I'm happy to be single:
3. Baby Names
My list of names has already been squeezed pretty thin. Actually, I've stopped making baby name lists and won't be looking through any baby name books until I have a wee one on the way because I don't want to fall in love with another name only to "lose" it.
Already two of my favorite boy names have been taken over by girls. One of my favorite girl names is way too similar to my niece's name. And if it is the name of someone I know, or have known, then it also goes off the list.
Some names get eliminated because friends and family have used the names for their kids. Not to mention if the name is too popular it also gets cut.
So, with all this already hindering me I can't imagine adding in someone else's preferences or prejudices.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Continuing the Celebration
Once when I was on Po.st S.ecret I saw a post from a man about getting a secret vasectomy right before he and his wife started trying for child number two. He explained they had no money for fertility tests and bragged that he was getting "it" a lot while never worrying about creating another kid. Meanwhile I'm sure his wife was getting frustrated and sad every month she couldn't get pregnant. This brings me to reason number two why I'm happy I'm single:
2. TTC
I choose when I want to start a family - I don't have to nag some poor guy until he gives in, likewise there's no one pushing me before I'm sure.
I can choose what method to use and if I want to try IUI five times before moving to IVF then it's nobody's money but my own. And if I decide I need to move to donor eggs, donor embryos, or adoption I can do so without a partner's objections.
I decide how many children I want (with the exception of multiples) and don't have to worry about a significant other wanting more or fewer. (See the above-mentioned jerk)
And I decide when I've had enough and feel I need to stop TTC without feeling as though I'm letting down my significant other if they want to give it another try.
2. TTC
I choose when I want to start a family - I don't have to nag some poor guy until he gives in, likewise there's no one pushing me before I'm sure.
I can choose what method to use and if I want to try IUI five times before moving to IVF then it's nobody's money but my own. And if I decide I need to move to donor eggs, donor embryos, or adoption I can do so without a partner's objections.
I decide how many children I want (with the exception of multiples) and don't have to worry about a significant other wanting more or fewer. (See the above-mentioned jerk)
And I decide when I've had enough and feel I need to stop TTC without feeling as though I'm letting down my significant other if they want to give it another try.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Celebrating Singledom in the Month of Love
So it's February now and the stores are brimming with chocolates, stuffed animals, Valentine cards and enough pink and red to blind a person. And typical of nearly every year in my life I don't have a significant other for the 14th. But this year, rather than drown my sorrows in a pint of chocolate peanut butter ice cream, I'm going to celebrate all the things I like about being single. And I made a list of them. So, without further ado (but in no particular order) here is reason number one:
1. I get the bed all to myself.
I can spread out, lay whichever way I want, toss and turn and never once worry about being a space invader or waking someone else up.
All the pillows are mine and I can surround myself with as many as I need.
All the blankets are mine and you better believe I'll be piling on more if it's cold or pushing them off when it's hot.
I don't have someone else's cold feet poking me and I'm not annoying them with mine.
I can deck out my bed in purple flowery sheets and no one will protest.
When I go to bed late at night I'm not waking anyone up. And nobody wakes me with their before-the-sunrise schedule.
And best of all - I don't have to listen to anyone snoring!
1. I get the bed all to myself.
I can spread out, lay whichever way I want, toss and turn and never once worry about being a space invader or waking someone else up.
All the pillows are mine and I can surround myself with as many as I need.
All the blankets are mine and you better believe I'll be piling on more if it's cold or pushing them off when it's hot.
I don't have someone else's cold feet poking me and I'm not annoying them with mine.
I can deck out my bed in purple flowery sheets and no one will protest.
When I go to bed late at night I'm not waking anyone up. And nobody wakes me with their before-the-sunrise schedule.
And best of all - I don't have to listen to anyone snoring!
Thursday, January 19, 2012
100%
(Note: I apologize for any weird changes of tense. It's late, I should be in bed, and I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts in writing right now. Also, like another blogger I too seem to be getting a white screen when going to the comment section, but only on certain blogs - anyone know what's up with that?)
When I started down this Thinking path I was probably 85-90% sure I would eventually move to the Trying stage if I found myself still single by a certain time. But that small percentage lingered in the back of my mind, making me wonder if my fears about single motherhood would cause me to chicken out. So over the past several months I have pondered that small percentage, looking at it from every angle. Exploring in my mind what it might be like if I chose to live child-free. Asking myself how far I'm willing to go with this dream of mine, what I feel I can honestly cope with, and what I will need before I can be sure I am ready to move to the Trying stage. But most of all I wanted to be 100% sure that I am choosing the right path if I should find myself still single sometime in the future.
So, it was during these musings that I got to thinking about the time I auditioned for a musical my local community theater was doing. It was a musical I had always dreamed about being in and I started practicing for the audition three months in advance!!
When the time came I was one of about 60 other people (a large number for my small town) to audition for this play. And despite all of my preparation I totally bombed out. I forgot half of the dance number, I couldn't seem to come in at the right spot for my song - it was a disaster. But do I regret auditioning? No. I regret that it went so horribly bad, but I don't regret trying. And despite how embarassed I was by the whole thing I know that had I chickened out and not auditioned I would have regretted it even more. And I would have always wondered, could it have been me up on that stage?
This got me thinking about how I would feel if I were in the beginning stages of menopause having never even tried to have a child. The overwhelming feeling was one of regret. Painful, absolutely whole-hearted regret. A feeling far worse than my fears about single motherhood. And suddenly my mind was made up. I am now 100% sure that if no man comes along then SMC is the path for me. Of course my fears about single motherhood are still floating around my head, but they don't speak near as loudly as my fear of never trying.
I guess this means I've officially graduated to the Planning stage. Now I have to decide what age would be best to start trying...
When I started down this Thinking path I was probably 85-90% sure I would eventually move to the Trying stage if I found myself still single by a certain time. But that small percentage lingered in the back of my mind, making me wonder if my fears about single motherhood would cause me to chicken out. So over the past several months I have pondered that small percentage, looking at it from every angle. Exploring in my mind what it might be like if I chose to live child-free. Asking myself how far I'm willing to go with this dream of mine, what I feel I can honestly cope with, and what I will need before I can be sure I am ready to move to the Trying stage. But most of all I wanted to be 100% sure that I am choosing the right path if I should find myself still single sometime in the future.
So, it was during these musings that I got to thinking about the time I auditioned for a musical my local community theater was doing. It was a musical I had always dreamed about being in and I started practicing for the audition three months in advance!!
When the time came I was one of about 60 other people (a large number for my small town) to audition for this play. And despite all of my preparation I totally bombed out. I forgot half of the dance number, I couldn't seem to come in at the right spot for my song - it was a disaster. But do I regret auditioning? No. I regret that it went so horribly bad, but I don't regret trying. And despite how embarassed I was by the whole thing I know that had I chickened out and not auditioned I would have regretted it even more. And I would have always wondered, could it have been me up on that stage?
This got me thinking about how I would feel if I were in the beginning stages of menopause having never even tried to have a child. The overwhelming feeling was one of regret. Painful, absolutely whole-hearted regret. A feeling far worse than my fears about single motherhood. And suddenly my mind was made up. I am now 100% sure that if no man comes along then SMC is the path for me. Of course my fears about single motherhood are still floating around my head, but they don't speak near as loudly as my fear of never trying.
I guess this means I've officially graduated to the Planning stage. Now I have to decide what age would be best to start trying...
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Some Goals For 2012
I'm so excited about 2012. I have a feeling it is going to bring good things! I'm also relishing the chance to start over fresh and cross more things off my To Do list than I did in 2011. So here are some of my goals for the year:
- Go outside more - Brand new camping equipment? Check. The Great Outdoors? Check. What am I waiting for?
- Get a less stressful, higher paying job
- Get rid of my muffin top and get more exercise in general - What can I say? I like carbs and sugar and cheese and I'd rather be eating them than working them off
- Finish my scrapbooks
- Pare down my hobbies - anyone need any unused/slightly used knitting, crocheting, and beading supplies?
- Start drawing again
- Blog more
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