I've been feeling kind of down this past week and I suspect it's a combination of hormones, jealousy, and other random crap that have created this little pity party of mine.
I'm happy for my friends and the great things they have in their lives right now, but it seems like everything great that is happening to them is another reminder of what I don't have.
Two friends (plus husbands) just bought their first homes. Another friend is moving out of state at the end of this month with her husband and kids. Several acquaintances from high school are expecting babies before year's end - most are on their second kid, one is even expecting her fourth.
Elsewhere in my life my health insurance is doubling and I'm too poor to qualify for the rebates. My tuition bill is due soon and I'm tired of living on austerity measures to pay for school plus all my other bills.
School itself is bringing up a host of worries especially about whether I will be able to find a job and if this will turn out to be worth it or just another waste of money.
And last of all my cough is still not gone. It got better for a while only to relapse a bit. And speaking of medical things I think I'm going to have to see a doctor about my knee which has been giving me pain off and on for a couple years now. Oh joy.
Sorry to hear you are going through a rough patch, I remember those days where it seems like everyone is living the life I wanted...it is hard.
ReplyDeleteI hate that feeling- when you feel like everything they have only makes you feel what you do not have so deeply. School is exhausting enough even when you don't have a recurrent health problem. I definitely understand the worries about whether you can find a job and/or whether this has been a waste. I hope you start feeling better soon.
ReplyDeleteLike Ali said, I remember those days so well. They suck. But it will get better - keep at it!
ReplyDeleteTotal suck, I am sorry you're having these feelings now. Hang in there, it'll get better.
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