I've been thinking a lot about the things I want to do before I have a baby and I have to say the list I've come up with is pretty boring.
Besides traveling and the remote possibility of graduate school the only thing I really want before becoming a parent is a little freedom.
The kind of freedom that comes from living on your own and not with your parents.
And I'm not talking about throwing wild parties or bringing random men home from bars. Those don't appeal to me at all. No, I am talking about the little things.
Like the freedom to do an exercise DVD in the living room where there is actual room to move without interrupting my parents' tv schedule. Or the freedom to have my bathroom be the one that is NOT right off the dining room. Or the freedom to watch HBO tv shows without worrying about my prudish parents coming into my room at the wrong moment. Or the freedom to visit a sperm bank website or to blog on here without having to make sure they can't see my computer screen.
I could go on and on with these "little" freedoms (I once made a list of them in my head and when it got over forty I lost count), but perhaps you get the point.
I want the freedom to grow and change, to get to know myself better without feeling the need to censor myself in my own home.
I want some time to truly feel like an adult before trying to raise a kid.
"I want some time to truly feel like an adult before trying to raise a kid." - Well said!
ReplyDeleteVery well said indeed! I think it is important to know and experience yourself before you move into another life mode- whether marriage or motherhood. I hope that you find some of that freedom. It is important for you.
ReplyDeleteI think living on my own was a huge step for me. You have the opportunity to shape your own schedule (cleaning, watching television) without having to report to anyone. It also gave me the opportunity to express myself by deocrating and organizing the house and I was free to explore my tastes and preferences. I found that as the years passed and I changed, my tastes changed. My walls, once covered in posters, now are covered in paintings and memorable quotes.
ReplyDeleteI had the opportunity to develop my culinary skills via cook books and invite friends over for some Italian, Thai or Spanish food with wine. Or, eat by myself on days where I wanted to bask in my own solitude while reading a book.
When I first lived on my own (despite years of cleaning based on living with my parents) I became lackadaisical about cleaning and clothes would litter my floor, furniture and my unmade bed. But, as I grew older, "home" became the place of comfort and pride instead of the place I parked my stuff while I "lived/played", I began to organize more and take pride in the tidiness of my home.
All those experiences, in my opinion, put me in a much better place to be a mother---and the head of my own household.
So, enjoy your space when you finally have it.
Little freedoms. Hmmm. Like cooking or eating something without someone wondering what it is. Talking on the phone and being asked who it was.
ReplyDeleteI live with my folks too and it can be a little crowded at times, but I've been able to save quite a bit of money for infertility treatments, which I needed.
I read your post the other day where you were assessing the pros and cons of SMC. I wonder if you've thought about having eggs retrieved now and freezing them for the future.