Sneaking a Little Free Time

Just a few days after my last post life got a little hectic with school, work, and family parties. Then I got sick twice in two weeks. All of this added together meant I had to limit my computer use to school-related things only or I'd never get my essays and homework done in time (master procrastinator here) and that means I haven't read any blogs in that time.
So, now I am taking a quick between-essay break to catch up with everyone's blogs and update here.

First, I would like to say a big heartfelt thank you to Jen, Tiara, Nell, Evelyn, The Riveting Mama, SMC in STL, and Shannon for your comments on my last post. They really meant a lot to me, more than I can express in a few words on here!
As for my blog, I still have not figured out what to do with this space but there are some ideas bouncing around in my head. Likely it will end up being a hodgepodge of sorts.

Now, off to catch up on blogs before I drag myself back to the essay I should be doing.

Going Somewhere, Slowly

I've known for a while now that I wouldn't make my original goal of starting TTC at age 30. But it really hit home when I quit that last crappy job and started up school again. And ever since then I have debated what to do with this blog.

I intended for this space to focus on Thinking, Planning, Trying, Becoming, Being, etc. A way to connect with other women who were going down the same path. This was supposed to be a place to share the feelings I have about this process that I can't share with anyone in real life.

But here I am two and half years later and the Thinking phase is done. Unless the mythical Mr. Right sees fit to gallop up in shining armor, I will become a Single Mother by Choice. My mind is made up on that.

Next has come the Planning phase, and honestly until I can set an actual TTC start date, I am afraid there isn't much more I can do in this phase. At least nothing worth writing about. So I am stuck.

My blog doesn't really belong amongst the blogs I follow anymore and I feel rather stupid for starting it so far ahead of when I actually needed to.

And yet, I've found I like blogging, at least when I find the time for it. And I enjoy following everyone's journeys. So I really don't know what to do. Should I come up with a photo challenge? Talk about my crafts or other projects? Do a combination of things? That might occupy a little time, but for all I know it will be years before I can move on to the Trying phase.

What do I do with this space in the meantime?

Best For Last?

As I was dreaming of the future for about the millionth time I began to wonder how I would know, truly know, when the time was right to start trying for a baby. Sure, there are things I want to have in place first like a steady job, my own apartment or house, and some money in savings.

But when I finally have those things, what then?

I remember as a kid whenever my parents would take my siblings and I out for pizza and ice cream, or to the park, we would always have to stop first at the business my parents owned and wait while they did mundane things like paperwork and cleaning.
It got to the point where every time this would happen my siblings and I would shout "worst for first, best for last!!......worst for first, best for last!!"

Somehow this mantra has stuck with me. I seem to want to save all the best things for last so I can always have something to look forward to. I think I'm under the delusion that somehow, once everything else is accomplished, I'll have time to truly savor my most cherished goals.

The flipside, of course, is waiting so long that accomplishing these goals becomes impossible and that would be more heartbreaking by far. So how do I find that happy medium?

Time Warp

I can't believe it's been a month since my last post. Where has all the time gone?? I have about ten deeper posts sitting in draft mode right now but I can't seem to form thoughts coherent enough to get my meaning across, so for this post I will stick to an update of my life right now.

For the past five weeks I have been using this training schedule to get myself prepared for the upcoming Zombie 5K that I signed up for.
The training schedule is really meant for a running track but my gym doesn't have one and it is too hot to go outside so I have modified it for treadmill and elliptical. It's a fairly easy training routine which is probably why I haven't lost a single pound since I started it. If I do happen to lose a pound it magically reappears the next time I weigh myself. So, it's definitely not a routine for losing weight, let's hope it's at least conditioning me to face a 5K racecourse full of zombies and obstacles. Only two more weeks until race day, yikes!

As I have been training I have also been more aware of what I eat and how much I am eating. I've really been trying to be good about making healthier food choices, not having dessert when I am feeling full, and limiting my portions closer to an actual serving size. Apparently my efforts in this regard have also not paid off as far as losing weight goes but I think I am heading down the right road.

In other news, I have tabled any plans to move out of town or out of state for the moment and am officially signed up to take classes at the local college this coming semester. I'm not thrilled about returning to the land of homework and such, but if it gets me where I need to be then good.

The State of the State

Since I am stuck in the SMC Planning stage I figure I might as well continue to plan for when I do make it to the TTC stage. So, with that in mind there are two things about my home state I want to talk about.......

1. REs - So far as I can find, there is only one official RE in my state and he is not located in my town. He is located in a city about 220 miles away from me. That's about 3 1/2 hours of interstate driving when the roads are nice and clear. But it would be a rather difficult drive in the winter (October - March/April) with snow and ice, that is if the road isn't closed due to blizzards.
It would possibly be doable if I were doing IVF, but it would be ludicrous to drive that far for an IUI when my cycles are so completely unpredictable.
I'm not sure if any of the in-town doctors do IUIs and whether they would do them with frozen swimmers or not. Anyone have experience with a regular OB/Gyn being able to work with frozen sperm? Right now I'm leaning toward at-home inseminations when the time comes. Unless I move somewhere that has a local RE.

 2. Cost of Living - Ali brought up a good point on my last post - the numbers I quoted likely belong to areas with a higher cost of living. Areas where you really do need that much money to get by, especially as a single parent. Of course, I would love to make as much money as possible to be more secure in providing for my family (who wouldn't?). But I will also keep in mind that it is important for my mental health that I am comfortable in my job.

Anyway, my state has a fairly low cost of living, with one exception - house prices. I looked up some statistics the other day and while my state ranks somewhere from 35th to 38th for median annual income per person; it also happens to rank 11th for median house price. I've looked at house prices in the Sunday paper over the last couple years and I believe it.

We have lots of vacations homes, homes with huge tracts of land, and for some reason a gluttony of high-end retirement condos which have all kept our home prices high. During the recession prices went down a little but we never really had many foreclosures, at least not in my city. And now that the recession is winding down prices have only gotten higher. I guess that's the downside of living in such a beautiful state.

We also don't have much in the way of nice apartments that don't cost as much as a mortgage. Ugh, still working on this dilemma.