I promised I would dedicate myself to finding a new job once my vacation was over. I knew when I returned I would have about 2 1/2 months to find one before guilt would officially kick in and I would feel obligated to stay through the busy season.
I am keenly aware that finding a new job is the linchpin needed for my future plans to fall into place.
And now I have 1 month and 25 days left before busy season begins. So what have I done on the job front? Zip, zilch, nil, nada, nothing. In short, I haven't done squat.
Why? Not because of the lack of jobs, or the fact that I am underqualified for most of the ones being advertised. There are solutions for those excuses - I could widen my search, or go back to school to get better qualified.
Not even because I feel as though I am searching for the "perfect" job, one that will allow me the flexibility/environment/salary I will need to actually start on the SMC path, while also being a job I look forward to doing day in and day out.
Not because my interview wardrobe consists of one skirt and one jacket (my current job is fairly casual).
Not even because I can't imagine the logistics of leaving in the middle of work to go to an interview for another job.
No, what's holding me back is Fear and it's evil cousin Lack of Confidence. These, along with my introverted personality, make for a fatal combination that continuously feeds into the above-mentioned excuses until the only thing that happens on the job front is nothing.
And despite wanting a new job so bad it hurts, despite knowing how little time I have left between now and when I turn 30, I just can't seem to get motivated about starting. The Ghost of Job Hunting Past just won't quit haunting me.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Back!
Well, I'm back from my vacation. Have been for just over a week now but for some reason it takes me longer to unpack than it takes me to pack in the first place. That plus jet-lag and going immediately back to work has left me little time to get online and catch up on blogs, though I am slowly getting there.
My vacation was wonderful. I got to explore more fully two countries (Ireland and Scotland) that I only saw briefly the first time I went to Europe. And I got to check off two more states from my goal of seeing all 50.
I find it funny how you miss home so much when you're on vacation but the minute you come back you wish you could be on vacation again. At least it was that way for me this time. Although it could be because I came back to work and landed in the middle of a giant miscommunication that had me feeling like I never left.
On a related note, I noticed on vacation that I could nap without clenching my jaw or needing to wear my mouthguard (though I still wore it at night just to be safe). Upon coming back home and back to work I can't fall asleep for five minutes without waking up with intense jaw pain and related headaches. So that, combined with the fact that I never needed a mouthguard or clenched my teeth before 2007 (a year after I started at this job) leads me to believe it is entirely related to the stress of my job. Of course I had already guessed this, but it was nice to see it confirmed.
As predicted summer is going by way too fast. I won't be able to do the 5K like I wanted to because my boss will be out of town that weekend and so I am sure to be scheduled to work that Saturday. Also, after all the walking (and a little biking) I did on vacation I realized just how out of shape I really am and I don't fancy my chances of getting in shape for a 5K in less than a month. Maybe they'll have it again next year. :-(
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Slow down summer!
How is it that summer hasn't even officially begun and already I feel as though it is completely planned away? Ditto for the rest of the year actually. With as long as it takes me to do certain projects I have every weekend planned between now and January 1st, perhaps even beyond. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining - I like not being bored - but sometimes I get to a point with some projects (I'm talking to you scrapbooks!!) where I just want them done already.
In other news, I have decided to hold off on doing birth control but I think I will try to get an appointment with the endocrinologist just to see what he/she has to say. Of course, it will only happen if I can find a way to get it to work with my work schedule. And it will have to wait until after my vacation.
Also on the agenda for after my vacation, I am going to buckle down and really concentrate on finding a new job. That will be priority number one.
Priority number two (which should actually begin before priority one) just might be training for a 5K taking place later this summer. It will be a miracle if I get trained in time because I haven't done any actual dedicated exercise since I wrenched my knee attempting some P.90.X over a year ago. Plus, I have horrible memories of running a mile every year in gym class and this will be a mile times three! But this isn't just any ol' 5K, no this one has obstacles.....and zombies. Just what I need to get motivated!
In other news, I have decided to hold off on doing birth control but I think I will try to get an appointment with the endocrinologist just to see what he/she has to say. Of course, it will only happen if I can find a way to get it to work with my work schedule. And it will have to wait until after my vacation.
Also on the agenda for after my vacation, I am going to buckle down and really concentrate on finding a new job. That will be priority number one.
Priority number two (which should actually begin before priority one) just might be training for a 5K taking place later this summer. It will be a miracle if I get trained in time because I haven't done any actual dedicated exercise since I wrenched my knee attempting some P.90.X over a year ago. Plus, I have horrible memories of running a mile every year in gym class and this will be a mile times three! But this isn't just any ol' 5K, no this one has obstacles.....and zombies. Just what I need to get motivated!
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
An Answer......sort of
So, after playing phone tag with my doctor for a couple of days I finally got to talk to her about my test results. Turns out I have slightly elevated testosterone (417 on a scale where 65-380 is considered normal). She then started asking me if I have any excess facial hair and whether it was shave-worthy (it's not). My answer seemed to make her reluctant to declare that I have anything other than slightly high testosterone. I really was not expecting to have a mini consultation over the phone (talking on the phone + talking to a doctor = nervousness and anxiety for me) so I don't think I effectively communicated the other symptoms I have that might point to mild PCOS.
However, she did say she was willing to give me a prescription for BCPs (I said I'd think about it - my last cycle was 26 days so it is moving in the right direction). She also offered to refer me to an endocrinologist (the closest is about 70 miles away). Again, I said I'd think about it. I guess I need to look into it more because I don't really see what they could do right now while I'm not TTC other than confirm that I have a higher testosterone level than normal.
As for my CD3 tests, the results are:
FSH = 5.93
LH = 2.54
E2 = 21
All are considered to be within normal range so I am very happy about that. It is one less stress off my mind at the moment.
And my doctor says the rest of my tests (for thyroid, etc) came back alright so that is good. Although I notice some of the test results are listed as high or low, but I'm sure she would have said something if they were worrisome.
However, she did say she was willing to give me a prescription for BCPs (I said I'd think about it - my last cycle was 26 days so it is moving in the right direction). She also offered to refer me to an endocrinologist (the closest is about 70 miles away). Again, I said I'd think about it. I guess I need to look into it more because I don't really see what they could do right now while I'm not TTC other than confirm that I have a higher testosterone level than normal.
As for my CD3 tests, the results are:
FSH = 5.93
LH = 2.54
E2 = 21
All are considered to be within normal range so I am very happy about that. It is one less stress off my mind at the moment.
And my doctor says the rest of my tests (for thyroid, etc) came back alright so that is good. Although I notice some of the test results are listed as high or low, but I'm sure she would have said something if they were worrisome.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Sweet Surprise
I really need to blog more often. I've been meaning to post about this for a while now.
Last fall I posted about Ghost Kitty and how "he" had been coming around my work to be fed. Well, as winter wore on and the weather turned bitter cold my coworker J and I started letting Ghost Kitty come inside to eat hoping that the scaredy cat would get used to us.
Eventually it became a ritual to let Ghosty indoors to be fed, and for playtime, despite the weather slightly warming up. So it wasn't out of the norm for J to let Ghost Kitty in one evening back in March (St. Patrick's Day to be exact). What wasn't normal, he realized the next morning, was that Ghosty had never asked to be let back out.
And that's when we found out for sure that Ghost Kitty was not a "he" as we had assumed because she decided to have a couple kittens in a hidden corner behind our cash register. In retrospect it was not her smartest move as that area is in the center of all the action. But she quickly figured that out and three days later when she felt it was safe she moved the kittens to the basement which has served everyone well.
So for the last six and a half weeks we have watched two kittens grow and play and explore. It warms my heart every time I get to go to the basement and see them.
And even though no one has ever been able to get close enough to Ghosty to pet her, she has let us pet and hold her kittens. Though she keeps a very watchful eye on us.
And now for pictures (I apologize in advance for the mess in this part of the basement, and the carpet leftover from the 1970s)
Last fall I posted about Ghost Kitty and how "he" had been coming around my work to be fed. Well, as winter wore on and the weather turned bitter cold my coworker J and I started letting Ghost Kitty come inside to eat hoping that the scaredy cat would get used to us.
Eventually it became a ritual to let Ghosty indoors to be fed, and for playtime, despite the weather slightly warming up. So it wasn't out of the norm for J to let Ghost Kitty in one evening back in March (St. Patrick's Day to be exact). What wasn't normal, he realized the next morning, was that Ghosty had never asked to be let back out.
And that's when we found out for sure that Ghost Kitty was not a "he" as we had assumed because she decided to have a couple kittens in a hidden corner behind our cash register. In retrospect it was not her smartest move as that area is in the center of all the action. But she quickly figured that out and three days later when she felt it was safe she moved the kittens to the basement which has served everyone well.
So for the last six and a half weeks we have watched two kittens grow and play and explore. It warms my heart every time I get to go to the basement and see them.
And even though no one has ever been able to get close enough to Ghosty to pet her, she has let us pet and hold her kittens. Though she keeps a very watchful eye on us.
And now for pictures (I apologize in advance for the mess in this part of the basement, and the carpet leftover from the 1970s)
 |
| Around 4 weeks old |
 |
| About 5 weeks old - up and playing |
 |
| The little family |
 |
| Peeking out |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)